Because Chinese women belong to an ancient 5,000 years old ‘exotic’ civilization and culture—lots of foreign men find this appealing. The beauty and grace of Chinese ladies was often written in old medieval literature through the tales of Western explorers such as Marco Polo who traveled extensively in China in the 13th century.

The frequency in which foreign *western white men* appearing in domestic Chinese advertisements in China (and movies too—Ex: The Flowers of War), often intimately with Chinese women, and for domestic consumption, shows a determined cultural and state effort to promote the relationship between foreign men from the west and Chinese women to new historical levels.

China does not do this with other foreign mens. No African, Arab, Latino or even other Asian men get this special status with Chinese women. It is a very special relationship that definitely deserves further study.

  • Nansha

Well first of all your ex is full of it. My boyfriend is Chinese, a former model, and a former resident of Shanghai. I am not a model, not Chinese, and yet he still ended up with me over the millions of Chinese women in Shanghai.

The answer is going to change depending on the man. For some western guys it may be that they see Chinese women as more ‘submissive’ and therefore are going to put up less of a fuss when they do the dickish things that all male partners do. Hehe, yea they are in for a very unpleasant surprise.

Chinese women play the submissive card, they infantilize themselves, and they are very clear and pretty universal in their standards for a romantic partner.

Top three:

Owns a car, owns a house, stable job that earns twice what her’s does

If available:

Tall, good looking, whiter skin, big double fold eyes

I kid you not every single Chinese woman I have talked to about this has said the EXACT same thing.

ex. conversation with Chinese female coworker:

Her: “I get so mad sometimes because my boyfriend doesn’t have a car! It is cold! If he had a car he could pick me up and drive me home from work and I wouldn’t be cold!”

Me: “Or, you could save your money and buy your own car? Then you would always have a car to drive home in.”

Her: “You don’t understand! You’re foreign!”

What this mentality does is keep Chinese women in a more vulnerable position, even if they don’t realize it. Chinese women typically control the finances in a relationship well before the couple is married. Why? Because they get paid way less and it makes them feel secure by being in control of the money.

Or they could focus on improving their own careers, earning their own money, and spend less time on their hypothetical partners careers.

So what is so “special” about them?

Their desires are uncomplicated and fairly straightforward. They want financial security above all else. If a guy can give that to her, she’s going to stay relatively happy and not complain too much about her man’s other potential shenanigans.

Western women in particular are much more complicated to date. Our desires in a man change much more from person to person than with Chinese women. We focus on becoming the successful rich partner, not finding one. That can be intimidating for men who want a particular power dynamic (them being in charge).

All of this is meant to be taken as a generalization, obviously China and the West are huge areas with tons of women who won’t fit into this, but it has been my general experience.


To every person telling me that this is a stereotype and generalization.


That is why I literally said “all of this is meant to be taken as a generalization.” So maybe finish reading my answer before you jump down my throat? And is any of what I said disparaging? I was giving an answer to why there is a perceived preference for Chinese women in Shanghai, not determining ANYTHING else about the pros and cons of dating Chinese vs. anyone else. So if anyone writes another condescending comment telling me I generalized, egg on your face because I beat you to the punch.

  • Ray Williams, lives in China (2014-present)

The guys who are only interested in Chinese women aren’t a good catch, so don’t feel self-conscious about missing out on them.

There’s nothing special about the women — with this situation, it’s all about the men. With a lot of them it’s a fetishistic thing where they’re more interested in the ethnicity of the woman than in her as a person. With others, they’re bitter about their bad experiences back home, and they think things will be different in Asia. (And often these guys end up really disappointed.) With some they’re chasing after this fantasy they built up by watching porn, that an Asian woman will always be soft and submissive and obey them. I’ve seen internet postings by guys saying that — when I mentioned it to my female students in Shanghai, they had a good laugh at that! Women there are really dominant in relationships, and if you can get out of your fantasy world and just look at the couples around you it’s easy to see.

Some women there do take finding a husband as a job, a way to get life security. They may angle for foreign guys because they think he’ll keep her in good style. Some local women do that very aggressively. There are other women who go for the prestige of having a foreign boyfriend because she thinks that will make other people think she’s going to be wealthy. Then there are other women who are pursuing their own fantasy of what a foreign man will be like, based on TV, movies, etc.

There are also guys who don’t care about your race, and want to know you for who you are. They could be foreign, or they could be Chinese. As more Chinese men are getting a higher education and higher-paying jobs, I’ve seen them becoming more confident about approaching foreign women. Chinese man/foreign women couples are a lot more common than they used to be, although they are still in the minority.

So, if you meet foreign guys who say they are ONLY interested in dating local women and won’t give you a chance, you can be pretty sure they are either douchey or bitter, and you are better off without them.

  • M.F. Cappiello, The shortest Caucasian that Chinese people have ever seen

I don’t think Chinese women are special. Every country has attractive women who are loved by someone.

Having said that, my husband once chatted with a Dutch guy who married to a Chinese. the Dutch guy said once you dated a Chinese woman you are hooked forever. When I asked why is that he gave me a summary of possible reasons. I am reciting exactly what he said to me here. please note I said below without knowledge how other countries women behave in a relationship. It could be all attractive women are doing the same.

Firstly, Chinese women are natural. She is who she is, so he can be who he is. She doesn’t pretend to be someone else or someone better than she is. She strives to be better wife and mother, not perfect wife and mother. Admit she has flaws and accep flaws from her partner.

Secondly, she doesn’t care gender equality that much. Today he gets to pick the restaurant he likes, she will not insist to be her turn tomorrow. She doesn’t handle relationship matters in tic-for-tac way as if you miss once you won’t get it back in time. Gender equality is not calculated like both have to do exactly the same thing and get exactly the same rewards, rather it is divide and conquer approach. emphasise on collaboration not equation.

Lastly, she is independent and capable of living without him tomorrow.

Does that make sense?

  • Katie Pedro, APAC Regional HR Dirctor at Marvell Semiconductors (2018-present)

Quite simply – they’re easy. Obviously I’m generalizing, and I’m not saying that all Chinese women are promiscuous, but it is very easy for a Western man to get sex with a Chinese girl in China – we are just talking about sexual lust here – for a whole host of reasons, and can also quite easily punch above their weight, scoring a girl considerably more attractive than one they might snare in their home country. It’s nothing special about Chinese girls per se.

Exotica is partly it – Asian women have been fetishized by Western portrayals for over a hundred years, and there are plenty of answers on Quora about this. All porn sites have an ‘asian’ category, and a large proportion of prostitutes in any country in the world hail from China – a developing country with a huge population of fetishized women as commodities, go figure. Asian women are generally slimmer and retain youthful looks for longer. They’re generally more petite, which appeals to natural male ego.

Many other reasons are cultural. The Western style of courting is quite aggressive, even predatory, especially compared to Chinese methods. Young impressionable girls may more easily spread their legs for a man who is persistently all over them, confidently telling them how pretty they are, getting them drunk, telling them stories about life elsewhere, maybe even dropping a few words or phrases in Chinese – impressive!

Western men may also seem exotic to Chinese girls, who might rarely get the chance to interact with anyone from different backgrounds, let alone flirt with them – they may see a flirtation with a Western man an opportunity to explore their sexuality beyond the gaze of their friends and family, unconstrained by social norms… maybe it’s secret, maybe their parents, who they’ve obeyed all their lives, wouldn’t allow them to date a foreigner, so maybe it’s exciting?

Many Chinese girls are just naive – a boy buying them flowers or taking them out means they’re dating, and kissing and sex signifies intent to marry, right? That means it would probably please her parents – foreigners get paid better after all, and the idea of traveling with them overseas is very romantic… then they find they’re just a pump n’ dump, because it’s so easy for him to move onto the next.

Submissive? The fact is that many simply are, more so than any Western girls I’ve encountered anyway. They’ve grown up in a culture where they’ve been inculcated to follow the crowd, do what’s expected, do what they’re told, especially when told by anyone with any kind of seniority, in terms of age, gender, profession, education, income, status etc. Stay for another drink? quiet nod. Come back with me? ok. Take off your clothes and lie on the bed? sure.

This has been my experience anyway – not especially attractive, not tall, especially by Western standards, not much money, practically a virgin before coming to China, and feeling like a porn star ever since I arrived. I’ve connived my way into lots of panties with very little time/money/effort, sometimes flowers or just a few words in perfect Chinese really is enough. I’ve concurrently had multiple girlfriends. At the same time I’ve been used and abused by girls who didn’t want their friends and family to know, or some who did and wanted to show off that they have a foreign play thing. I’ve had stunning girls who were complete strangers flat out come up to me and ask me for sex, out of the blue. Women twice my age driving to my house while their husbands were at work, neighbors knocking on my door. And it’s not just me – almost every foreign man here has the same experience.

Misogynistic? maybe. Perverted? perhaps. Immature? imaginably. Whatever you may think of this stereotypical “Western male in China” behaviour, it’s made me a confident, happy, and fulfilled person, and I don’t feel guilty at all – male lust is just part of human nature, and China makes it very easy for Western men to fulfill that need. I’m now happily (and faithfully) married to the world’s most gorgeous and wonderful person, a Chinese lady, and consider myself extremely lucky.

In a parallel universe somewhere there’s a version of me who never came to China and who’s been nervously taking Western girls to dinner for years, desperate to feign some kind of inflated intellect or sense of humor, or at the very least trying to get them drunk enough in the vain hope that they might just sleep with him once, and rejoicing when the tall, fat one finally does. I imagine he has pretty low self-esteem. Maybe deep down he and I have that in common, but I still pity him.

  • Anonymous

Edited by staff


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