This would be a big generalization, so just as any country, all people are different. So I will overly generalize from my experience:
Since this is English-speaking Quora and majority of its users are white Americans, then I would assume you are White American. So, let’s check PROS first:
- They are beautiful. Of course, everyone has their own opinion and standard of beauty, but if you are into Asian type – they are good looking.
- They are caring and loyal. If something will go wrong – they will take care of you, instead of just dumping you. I have dated throughout my life with European, American, Latino, Asian girls. Of all them, Chinese were the most willing to work on the problem, rather than just: “oh, our relations don’t work that well, let’s break up”.
- Okay, this one might be controversial and launch a lot of hate in comments or downvotes, but I think that many Chinese women like traditional approach, and expect you to show some control. For example, if I would ask girl to stop drinking second bottle of beer, because I don’t want it to have any serious impact on her health, she might dislike it first, but after short period of time she would express her gratitude for caring about her. As quite opposite, such an attempt to “interfere” with personal freedom of American woman will completely annoy her. It doesn’t mean that you should totally control her, because that’s completely wrong and not acceptable, but I am talking about smart balance. And no, it doesn’t mean they are “submissive” – that’s also wrong.
- They have strong family ties. Many Chinese women prioritize interests of family more than their own interests. I like that. But not everyone likes it, so it depends if you are family-oriented or self-oriented.
- Chinese food….mmm….If your girlfriend can cook Chinese food – marry her. You won’t regret, I promise you. If you think that you have tried Chinese food – you are wrong. Chinese food is extremely diverse. Food from South and food from Inner Mongolia is as different as food from Canada and Peru.
- They are into long-term relationship. I am more into long-term relationships so it’s a definitely Pros for me. But for those who think that it’s a bad thing – add it to cons.
- You can play in “Your reaction if you try this food”. My Chinese girlfriends always took me to markets, buy some weird stuff like pidan or chicken feet, and then watch my reaction eating it. Of course, I always paid them back by buying or cooking weird Russian or Ukrainian stuff. It never gets old.
Now, let’s talk about cons.
- Stinky eye from Chinese people. Not all Chinese like to see Chinese women with white men.
- For some reason, some Chinese men think that if you are dating Chinese woman – something wrong with you. Some of them think that White women are just much better looking than Chinese women. So they assume that you are such a loser, and you can’t find “White girl”. So you have to date “Ugly Chinese”. That’s very wrong and far from truth.
- This is very personal, but a lot of Chinese girls like slow, melodic music with piano and lyrics about love. Sometimes I have to listen for an hours “-WOOOOOO AAAIIIII NIIIIIII!!!! -AAA-AAA-OOO—-UUUU” in the car. Needless to say that my favorite music like Metal ain’t going to be accepted. Of course you might say that not all girls listen to this and some of them might like things like metal, but we are talking about majority, not fraction.
- Chinese girls prefer to starve themselves rather than to work out. Of course, it’s changing and more and more girls visit gym, but it is just weird. You have to convince her to start going with you in gym rather than to starve herself.
- This doesn’t apply to you if you are dating with immigrant Chinese, but if you are in China, many Chinese girls will automatically think that if you are white and especially from America – you are rich. So you will attract hordes of gold diggers.
- Losing face issues. Living in China means following Chinese social rules. And one of the rules there is “losing face”. It’s very hard for me to explain, but you can’t do many things. You can’t buy used or old car, you can’t marry divorced woman, and many other things (I mean you can, but you will “lose your face”). As foreigner I get away with many of these, because Chinese people don’t really apply those rules on foreigners, but they still apply on your Chinese girlfriend.
- If you are lazy you still have learn Chinese language. For me it’s actually a good thing, that I can learn language from native speaker, but it seems to bother a lot of Westerners. If you are going to meet her parents and marry in future – Chinese language is a must.
Chinese girls in the Mainland are a bit different than Chinese girls in Taiwan or Hong Kong, and definitely different than a girl of Chinese decent that has been born and raised in the west (i.e. “ABC”). Keep in mind that every woman is different, but in China (and to a lesser extent in Taiwan or Hong Kong) girls tend to be more…
- Clingy. She wants to know where you are. Who your with. What your doing.
- Up in your business. How much do you make? What are all your family details?
- Family oriented. If her family likes you, your in. They get more say in a relationship than you do. They have veto rights. You’ve gotta please the family!
- Blunt. They’re going to tell you if your fat. Lazy. Have a pimple.
- Quick to be upset. Quick to pout. You’ve gotta spend extra time consoling their feelings and explaining yourself, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness.
- Physical. Most Chinese girls want to hold you as you walk, hold you as you sleep, and hold your hand in a variety of situations.
- Not shy about what they want. Marriage. Babies. Security. Usually in that order.
- Somewhat prude. They may not want to kiss in public. Definitely anything approaching 2nd base where another can see is out of the question. Sex can be somewhat prudish as well, even in private.
- Expecting you to plan everything. You need a plan, and she’s along for the ride.
- Expecting you to pay for everything. It’s not rude in Chinese culture. Your so man! 🙂
- Selfish. Chinese girls expect to be pampered. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s definitely in their DNA. Consider that there is a shortage of women in China, and you’ve landed one. Time to pay the piper. Thankfully this princess syndrome is usually only skin deep because they…
- Are very much wanting to please you. I realize that seems at odds with my last statement but Chinese girls, once their needs are met, very much want to treat you like the king. Take very good care of you. No girl can love you like a Chinese girl can.
So yeah. Insert your own pros and cons here. Is it worth it? Not for everyone, but everyone is different. Variety is the spice of life. Use your own judgement, but don’t be too quick to judge.
- Nix MacPherson
Slightly different experience than in Julien’s case, but here goes.
- It will highly depend on where she’s from, starting from which minority she is from (e.g. chiuchow women are known to be excellent housewives, but feisty as well) and her hometown (Shanghai girls are famed to be spoiled brats), ending with her social status (rich girls tend to be very high maintenance) and background (a girl from a small village who has never seen a black person in her life, can embarrass you by asking your black friend if his skin color washes off – true story).
- If you don’t speak putonghua well, you are limited to girls who speak English (or some other weird language), and as such may not exactly be a representative of the ‘majority’ of the girls. Chances are, that they have been through quite a number of ‘relationships’ (many not lasting a week), so as much as they can be ‘westernized’, they also come with a baggage.
- A definite pro will be that in general, they are caring and resourceful. They will take care of you like your momma would, but are likely to count on you to provide for the relationship. That is not to say, that all or most just want to be housewives – especially among the younger generation, there is quite a drive for a career or other ways of self-fulfillment among young women. Thing is, for them, it’s an option; for you, it’s a must.
- Although originally they come out of the box as very ‘traditional’ and ‘decent’, they can be some of the best lovers walking mother Earth. Many people think that China is so populated because of the men’s high sex drive. Bollocks. I give credit to the women.
- When you’re marrying a Chinese girl, you’re marrying her whole family. This extends to ‘dating’ as well, especially if a girl moves in with you. Don’t be surprised if you’re asked to harbor her relatives for a couple of weeks at your apartment, or if you’re asked to lend them some money. Don’t be surprised, but don’t do it, either 😉
- Chinese girls often have this annoying habit of calling you names that are far from ‘sweet’, so don’t be surprised if instead of being her ‘bear’, you will be her ‘stupid pighead’. For the life of me, I don’t know where it stems from, nor do I care to find out. Pass.
- Some expect you to carry their shit for them, especially their handbag. Not because their hands are doing something, not because it is heavy, but simply ‘because’. F..k it, I have my pride.
- A very useful phrase to learn, is ‘Yes, boss’. Use it often. Makes life easier.
- Maciej Pas
Hi, There are so many advantages and disadvantages to dating a Chinese girl. If you are thinking of getting into a relationship with a Chinese woman are some of the most important things that are given below.
Pros of dating a Chinese girl:
You should accept their cultural beliefs:
Chinese girls will mostly like to have beliefs. When it comes to medicine, they believe in eastern medical practices that may make no sense to you.
Know their culture before dating:
Don’t start the first date with a Chinese girl, first, you should know the culture. At starting you won’t understand all at a time. You should make an effort to study up before dating a Chinese girl.
Chinese girls are not shallow, but they would like to be impressed. While having a car, an expensive house and a great job are very impressive to Chinese women.
A Chinese woman is a hard worker:
The best thing we all have to learn from Chinese, they are a hard worker and she won’t depend on her life on you.
She is polite and humble:
Asian culture thought that be polite and humble to other people, so you can live your life and create a good relationship with everyone.
Respect her family:
Family is very important to Chinese women. Don’t say anything bad about her family and make sure that she gives respect to her family.
She has great skin:
The skin of the Chinese girl and western girl are different. The Chinese girl has a clear and flawless skin.you will never ger bored.
Show a bit of your bad side:
It is commonly known that women like bad guys, but Chinese women, particularly this is true. Since their parents really want to date a good guy.
She cooks well:
Chinese cuisine is one of the best in the world. Date a Chinese girl and you can eat all of them are free. Chinese girls are known to be a good cooker, as the recipe passed down for several years within the home.
These are some advantages of dating a Chinese girl, along with these advantages here are some cons of dating a Chinese girl.
Con’s of dating a Chinese girl:
- Don’t forget to hold her purse: It’s just a thing that boyfriends are expected to do for their Chinese girlfriends. Whether you’re walking in the mall or at an outside market, don’t put up a fuss about holding the handbag.
- Don’t disrespect her family. Chinese women are typically close to their family, and will often put their needs before her own. You will have to be just as courteous and respectful of them.
- Don’t be too confident. Chinese women love confidence, but being humble is an important character trait. Don’t overdo it.
- Don’t try to move too fast. Chinese girls like a bit of a chase and don’t want to feel smothered by you. Put some distance between you and she will swoon.
- Don’t break up with her in a bad way because Chinese girls often think that revenge is acceptable.
- Don’t forget to follow-up after your first date. Chinese women expect the man to pursue the dates in the beginning. So, make sure to give her a call or you may never see her again.
- Don’t expect her to pay for much. Usually, men pick up the bill for nearly everything.
- Don’t try to fight her on her medical views. You won’t win and she will only get angry with you.
- Don’t be too physical. Many Chinese girls like to take relationships slow and may not even kiss you until a few months into the relationship.
- Don’t make her jealous. Chinese girls get jealous quite easily, so just talking to another girl in front of her could really make her angry.
- Don’t be boring. Chinese girls don’t want to hear you talk about business. They want an interesting conversation, especially when they get to talk a lot.
These are some advantages and disadvantages of dating a Chinese girl, if you really want to date a Chinese girl, there are so many online dating sites are available. But I suggest Chinese Friends Date get the required Chinese partner because it is 100% free for registration and access all the features of the site, easy to use and mobile-friendly.
First a little disclaimer:
- Every girl is different. There is no such thing as a typical Chinese girl. Imagine a Chinese guy asking here “What are the advantages of dating a Western girl?”
- The answer will depend largely on who you are (Are you “western”? Chinese? Are you a dude? ahah) and what you want/like.
All that being said there are indeed couple trends with Chinese girls versus Western ones. I’ll share my experience (I am a French guy living in China) but won’t categories those elements as “pros” or “cons” because it totally depend on your personal preferences. Note that I am talking about Chinese girls in China, not Chinese girls abroad who might be more “westernized”.
- A Chinese girlfriend it typically not a girlfriend for long. She quickly wants to become a wife and mother. Her Chinese parents have been brainwashing her since she was 20 years old on the fact that she needs to marry and make a cute baby asap.
- She can be pretty blunt about things… letting you know you look like crap today or not making any special excuse when she’d rather watch a movie at home rather than go out to see you…
- …however she will not be completely open either. She might very well not tell you everything about what she does or think, and if you don’t call her back she might just never do so. Pride over feelings!
- The mix of the above 2 points will make her a bit of a mysterious/surprising kind of girl, which in most cases is rather cool.
- She will be a bit old school about dating. Guys should invite. Guys should thank for the date right after it. Guys should propose what to do next. etc.
- She will teach you Chinese (if you want to). And she will make your life in China waaaaaaay easier (someone will finally enable you to communicate with the cleaning lady).
- The very local girls will have a very down to earth approach about relationships: Do you have a (good) car? Do you own a (nice) apartment? However those kind of girls are less likely to be into western guys anyways.
- I won’t comment on the physical/sex aspects, that’s up to you to figure out 🙂
- Julien Moine